M.O.M.'s Mailbox- Developing the Fruit of the Spirit in our Children

Question: My boy is struggling with being out of control- during the course of just one day he can go from overly excited saying, "This is the best day of my life!!!! to being very depressed and moping around spreading his bad attitude to the rest of us. His attitude is affected by his circumstances.

In addition to that problem, he is very out of control with his body- I don't think it is his age- because he seems to be a little clumsy, too- but when he is having the best day of his life- he is jumping around, spinning, flailing limbs- oh, when he plays swords with his brother, he is always hurting him- not at all out of anger, but out of not controlling himself. I don't know how to handle it at all, really. He isn't doing it out of disobience or anything wrong in his heart- but I don't know what to do to get him to have control in these situations. One example- he is always jumping onto the couch by spinning- I always have him leave the room and walk back in and do it again, but it seems most situations aren't that easy.

My main question for you is can you tell me Bible verses that will help with the mood swing problem and if you can think of any wisdom for the second problem I would be delighted!

Thanks for reading this! :)

Answer: Hello dear friend! Thank you so much for your patience!!! 

I pray that He will show you how, with consitancy, this can be a simply training moment in your sweet boys' life. It will give him such great victory if he learns this Fruit of the Spirit, called Self Control.

I would suggest that his emotions going from one extreme to the other is an extension of his lack of self control. Children must learn to take "every thought captive", to "walk in the Spirit at all times" and to crucify their flesh on a moment by moment basis (we mommies even need to do that!). My children can deny their childish desire of wanting to jump on furniture because I have trained them to do so.. they weren't born that way believe me. :-) Here are few things I did when they were little.

Here are a few things we can do practically to help them:

Review verses that discuss the Fruit of the Spirit- Self Control.

Train them with visuals as reminders and rewards: We use to have a 'tree' that was made out of construction paper hanging on the wall. On the tree I placed the "Fruits of the Spirit" and laminated them with contact paper. Then I had velco that stuck them to the tree.. when a child was 'caught' bearing one of these fruits they were able to wear it through the day pinned on their shirt. I would have a surprise gift for them and every so often and pick one of the fruits to bear a gift such as a trip to ice cream with mommy, picking their favorite meal for dinner or me hanging a flag in their honor.

Reevaluate your home and make sure your home rules are clearly laid out. If not, review them again with the children. Children left to themselves and not given clear boundaries and guidelines are out of control. We use to use the 21 rules of this house by Greg Harris with our children when they were little.

Make sure you are giving him the attention he needs. I don't mean for you to give him too much attention. However, in the past you have mentioned to me how smart he is and advanced in his academics. If he is not feeling challenged and often left feeling 'bored' he will have a harder time with self control because the mind is just so busy. Make sure his time is ordered and he knows that he is vital to the success of the home. I would encourage you to see if there weren't some more responsibilities you could give him that would be a blessing to you and also teach him discipline of his time.

Those are some of the things I can think of quickly to share now. Let me know if you have more questions! I always love hearing from you!

Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.'s Mailbox- Living as a Helpmeet

Question: I am confused about my role as a helpmeet can you explain this to me?

Answer: There is so much I would love to share about this subject. The Lord has taught me so tenderly in this area. I hope some of this, while it may only be a tid bit of what you need, meets your need perfectly!

Many people don't really understand the concept and order that the Lord has ordained as proper. If I even mention submission as a beautiful order that fills a home with unspeakable Joy it causes people to mock, and shake their heads with disbelief. Some consider being submissive as a synonym for being a door mat. Others are afraid to let their husbands lead, fearing where he might lead them. However, being a helpmeet is none of these things and should not cause fear to fill our hearts. Let me share some things I have learned about this powerful position I hold as my Joe's helpmeet. Keep in mind, I continue to learn and grow in my role on a daily basis.

Some tips I have learned:

• My first tip to any young woman who wanted to learn this vital role as helpmeet, would be to look in your local church body. Look for woman that are thriving in their ministries at home. Women who are 'real', woman who love to teach as directed by Scripture and welcome you with all your questions! Take a great deal of time in prayer about who you learn from. Remember, a companion of fools suffers harm.  
• We need to see ourselves as true helpmeets to our husbands, created perfectly for them! No one could do a better job than you! The question is will we do the job we were created to do?
• A helpmeet is timely. A helpmeet does speak out and warn them of danger. A helpmeet does remain quiet and allow them to hear the voice of the Lord. A helpmeet prays for her husband. A helpmeet confronts her husband. A helpmeet joyfully serves her husband as unto the Lord at all times!  I am often asked, "How do I know when to say something or when to just be quiet?" As a helpmeet we have a biblical responsibility to point out danger to our husbands as we might see it. For most of us the problem is that we normally want to point out everything to our husbands! We want them to do things our way instead of us living to fulfill the vision that God has placed in their hearts. We want equal treatment instead of the time honored spot as a daughter of Sarah. 
• A helpmeet is no help at all if she is not a prayerful helpmeet! If we don't earnestly seek the Lord on our husbands behalf.. why is what we have to say of any importance? 
• A helpmeet is aware of her personal walk with the Lord and always striving to grow in her role as a Daughter of the King. 
• A helpmeet checks her heart motive with the Lord before she acts! We must first make sure that our heart motive is right before the Lord, then we can gently and lovingly point out any danger we might see-much like a yellow caution road sign. In general, a helpmeet shares the danger she sees and then leaves the results with God.. she trusts that God is big enough to care for her and her family even when she isn't sure she can trust her husband. 
• A  helpmeet is not deafening her husbands ears with her constant nagging, complaining, whining and demanding. She knows there is power in keeping quiet, joyfully serving him and letting God lead him! I remember a time, years ago, when I was wanting Joe to do something and I constantly 'bugged' him about it. Finally, I just gave up. I didn't say a word about it. It was a few months later that he came to me with this 'great idea' of what he was wanting to do. I looked at him cross eyed and said, "Why is that I begged you to do that for months and you wouldn't budge but now you decide it's a great idea?" He looked at me and truthfully said, "Jeanette when you shut up, I could finally hear God." He didn't say it in a mean voice, quite the contrary. He was very gentle, genuine and true. I learned from that moment on that there is power in letting God talk. I learned that He doesn't need me to be his microphone! 

There is a balance, a beautiful balance, when one's heart is fixed on the Lord. Take some time to go through the Scriptures and consider the women that God has given us as examples, there is so much to be learned. I have learned a great deal as I have studied the lives of women in the Bible.. there are life changing gems in those precious Sisters! I know I only touched the surface of a very important position. Feel free to ask more questions and I will share as He leads!

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

A Moment with MOM- Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours!

Hello Friends!
The Wood family is buzzing with excitement as the children consider all the yummy dishes being created this year. We have so much to give thanks for. If we were to count our blessings we would run out of numbers! I am examining all I do in order to keep the stress out of this special time. I am not as far along on the meal preparation and home cleaning as I would like however,  I am right where He knew I would be and in that I find comfort. Dear Friends, we pray that each of you find His grace filling your hearts and homes. That His peace rests upon each of you and that His Joy fills you!
With much love,
                                          

M.O.M.'s Mailbox- Bible Reading

Question- I have a question about bible reading. I read through the proverbs on a monthly basis in the mornings ... but I seem to never really be able to capture it. I dont know if its because I am doing it just after waking up, or if I am feeling rushed to make sure I have time to do everything else required of getting ready, but a lot of the time I will think of what I was reading and not really be able to recall it as well as I should. Is there something I am doing wrong? Should I get ready, so that Im awake and then come back and read? 


Answer- Reading the Word is profitable at all times. I even enjoy listening to the Bible on tape when I am busy with housework or in the car. However, it is our studying of the Word that is critical for our growth. We were given a directive to study His Word.  (2 Timothy 2:15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.) I would encourage you to have some time each day to use your concordance, commentary, and dictionary along with your Bible reading. Even if you think you know what a word means, look it up! We use the Strongs Concordance, Matthew Henry Commentary, the Noah Websters 1828 Dictionary, and my journal. We normally do all our Bible reading from the KJV or the New Geneva translations. 


Reading the Proverbs of the day is excellent! I have read it to my children for over 21 years now. I remember a time when they asked if we could be 'done' with Proverbs. I replied, "Sure we can.. just as soon as you think we have mastered it." They sighed, looked at me sweetly and said, "keep reading". There is so much wisdom in Proverbs, life warnings,  that I need to be reminded of daily. 


Let me share with you and others how to study using the tools I mentioned above. I realize that not everyone uses these resources. I am simply sharing what we do here in our home. 


If you were to read Proverbs 18 (we read the Proverbs that represents the day of the month)
I would read through the chapter once all the way through
Next, I take each verse (or if time is limited just the first verse and next month the second, and the next month the third and so forth) and look up each word in the Strongs concordance.The first part of the book is set up much like a dictionary. You can look up the word and then the verse you were reading that word from. Over on the right side you will see a reference number.  Keep in mind that the concordance is divided up between Greek (New Test. ) and Hebrew (Old Test) Now, go to the back of the book and look for the section you need. For Proverbs we would look under the Hebrew section and find your reference number. At this point you are going to find your word written in it's original language with a variety of possible meanings. 


Now take your journal and write out the verse as you see it in your Bible then below it write out the words you have looked up and their meanings. Next, take some of those words and look them up in the 1828 dictionary and write down their meanings. If you desire rewrite your verse using the words from the concordance or meanings from the dictionary in a way that it makes it personal to you. 


Lastly, get your commentary and read their thoughts (remember they are just another humans thoughts but can be very enlightening, and encouraging!) Write down anything that you read that you felt the Lord was talking to you about. 


That's it! That's how we Study the Word. I would encourage you to start and let me know how it goes! I would love to hear from you. Feel free to share any  other questions you might come across. We are here to encourage one another all for His glory! 
With much love,